I still have nightmares. I wake up in confusion and cold sweats unable to distinguish reality from the dreams. I see figures in the dark, they move and motion towards me. I try and blink them away, or shake them out of sight or squint them into focus. It does not work. They remain, standing in silence, staring through the darkness, living nightmares that come to visit me as if we were old friends.
Perhaps we are. Perhaps they are… my only true friends. The one constant that has never wavered, never faltered, never expressed doubt in their commitment to our relationship.
Who could know a man better than his nightmares.
At times I do not know what frightens me more, the fact that my dreams come alive at midnight, that they visit me in the cold and in the darkness as shadows shaped like men, that the silent manifestation of my fears take on physical form and stand at my bedside unwilling to yield to the laws of reality, that my imagination has run amuck and that it seems my demons are destined to consume me, I don’t know if that frightens me more or if it’s the fact that in my heart I know that I enjoy their company.